No Denouement

I used to imagine having this dramatic confrontation where I'd reveal everything in this powerful voice and my kids would have to realise how wrong they were about me.

As this was rather tasteless, I thought about an email, one of those beautifully constructed bits of deathless prose.

I imagined various scenarios and each slammed up against the same 'wall'.

I choose to be as vacuous as they are, to share nothing, to answer in sentence fragments.

I assumed they would hold to a fantasy long after

my death, so moved the entire relationship,

(or lack thereof) to the box marked Trivia.

Over the years various 'tricks' were attempted

to pull my tongue; I recall the last trick was in one

telling me my Grand Daughter wanted to know my 'history'. I had grabbed this with job, and began to write about

my Mother's side of the family, posting a 'chapter' each day.

So taken by my story I wrote on and on, emailing one chapter
had reached chapter 4 and for some reason sent chapter 14 instead. There was no response. There was no notice that I had gone from 3 to 14 for no one was reading my work. It was just a trick. I ceased. Years passed and out of courtesy I sent an ecard. This provoked a long diatribe about the meaninglessness of ecards. I ceased all attempts at communication. Years passed and then I was told that one of them wanted to get in touch with me. So I connected. Because it was a facial call he could gauge that his arrows fell to the side. This is because after so many years one simply no longer has that automatic caring. And he realised whatever hook he had was gone. And he realised he wanted to make a link. Before it was too late.

The so-called Rabbi, who has polarised the community went on his 'contractual' leave.

He went on this leave because Ely asked Pharaoh if he wanted Crazy Guy to Represent the Jamaican Jewish community for its 50th anniversary.

Pharaoh has run the community with an iron hand
for decades. He wants a so-called Rabbi he can

control.

Crazy Guy is perfect, except for the fact he's running
his own scams. He 'obeys' his master with obvious reluctance.

I often said, in early days, that Crazy Guy didn't care about the community. Of course no one listened to me.

Crazy Guy, so as not to humiliate the Congregation on this
important date, went away.

Yesterday one lost soul asked me where he was. For
C.G. never told his congregation he would not be there.

There is a small bunch of people who haven't a clue about anything. They supported Crazy Guy because they didn't know better.

There is a number which couldn't care less about the
community. Others wanted a Rabbi who asks so little
from them and confirms their assimilation.

To the one who asked about Crazy Guy I answered with complete apathy; "He went on vacation."

I spoke as if it was a matter of no importance.

"He didn't say anything." She whines as if he would bother to tell her.

She doesn't suspect he couldn't care less about her, about the synagogue or anything except himself.

He goes through the motions because he is being paid and forces himself to do actions he is not comfortable with.

Such as be a Rabbi.

Today another one expressed question as to his absence and the fact he never told her he would be away.

It is so in his character to do this I am confirmed in my belief that this group may be missing that gene that allows normal people to tell 'gold' from 'brass'.

The two services were pleasant in their emphasis on the spirit. On taking the parashah and bringing it to life. One feels they were at synagogue instead of a tedious meeting where Robert's Rules reigns.